Antree

You're a Smooth Creep.

I appreciate that.

My Grandmother isn’t going to take my room this Christmas. I’d like to say I’m upset about it but that would be a whore-faced lie. I love my bedroom. I’ve got a loud, opinionated grandma. I can handle waiting until Spring to see her. I know how horrible I am. Mhmm.

I want to go choose a calander for 2010. I’ll likely be getting a fairy-themed one from my mother and carribean-cruise-themed from my step mom. I want one to put on the inside wall of my closet. I am thinking roosters.

Thanks.

Increasingly So.

Today was nice.

I am staying the night at Cat’s, avoiding my relatives back at the house. I chopped a lot of onion and we cooked yellow curry. Listened to some new music… :]

I don’t want to go back to Lincoln on Christmas eve. Christmas eve there is never a positive experience for me. The entire family thinks I am satanic. Thick-filtered sons of bitches.. I’ll take photos.

Out of chime.

We've got eyes that leave us in places we don't see.

[:

So my Texan grandmother is coming into town again tomorrow. My 44G torrent just finished downloading about ten minutes ago. I will have to wait another week or so before I can finally use it… family.

My right arm popped out of its elbow socket again. Pull-ups may just be physically impossible for me. Maybe it’s the hypermobility. My arms pop about fourteen times each time I go down from a chin-up. Why are we even doing this? =]

I sit in my floor all of the time. I am telling you.

She will hurt me.

I don’t care.

I blew $67 on CDs tonight. That was the rest of my money. I decided that once I live on my own, I’d like a CD collection. I do love mixed disks, but I also like album artwork…

I feel accomplished. stressed. awake. tired.

I can’t do a single pull-up. I wish you knew the feeling. =_=;

present.

Dear Jonah.

I still talk to Deidre. I can’t forgive her for telling her man about my predicament. (I hate her man, by the way.) She always does this to me.

“Don’t waste your time on him, he’s a jerk.” —That’s what he tells me.

I threw my phone across my bedroom dramatically and exited to make some hot cocoa. I’d like that part of my life to be gone for a bit. Those people. Unnecessary stress.

I felt this was original and defiant and not a lie. I wanted to send it. I didn’t.

I can’t imagine getting a response back anyway. XD

I'm alright.

Still sick, but I’ve got a history semester-final to attend. I didn’t get to sleep in because someone called me. Secretly though, I love being awakened with phone calls. Sometimes I don’t actually wake up and I don’t really remember what was said later.

LOL’in.

Bright Happy World.

I feel like I’m going to be sick… In fact, I think I will be sick really soon. I hate vomit. Its horrible. HORRIBLE.

I despise my schedule for next semester. 7th period band messed me all up. I hate band. I’d like to drop out, but it’s my biggest connection to everyone. Being in a separate band deteriorates that link anyway and I don’t see a point in continuing. I’m in the same band as my cousin and the predator twins. I want to die and not deal with it. I want the year to end already.

But of course I’d miss you.

I hate Springdale particularly much this evening.

I want to be violent, but I’m too weak at the moment. Also I am not good at performing violence. I’m going to shrivel up.

I think I’m going to flake out and start crying. Why do days like these have to happen? Someone.

I’m so selfish. I’m so sorry.

I’ll write some letters I’ll end up shredding. It’s what I need now.

American Puritans.

We do need a montage. This night was interesting, and was a lot of fun— even the encounter with the mall cops… Do you realize that I cut him off in mid sentence? I was proud of myself for that.

“Actually we can take the masks off.”

They probably half-expected us to strip at that point, as we unzipped the back of our necks.

Everything around me seemed still… Out-of-focus people turned and speculated. And despite that I had been de-masked in public I did not at all feel demoralized. We walked out of the mall, figures and faces exposed, smiling.